Best 3 day get away ever. Everything was so picture perfect. Walking through a little town hand in hand, driving into the mountains kind of lost, laughing, watching movies by the fireplace, cuddling in matching robes, candle light bath, awkward breakfasts, long talks, sleeping in. I’m so happy.
In the beginning it was all so confusing and scary. I didn’t wanna date this great guy for the wrong reasons. But I know I’m not. I’m happier then I’ve ever known I could be. Sometimes life is confusing and throws crappy things at you but I think I’ve learned sometimes we need crappy to appreciate great things. I’m so happy and so in love. I found my guy and my future.
In the hotel in California getting ready to head out to dinner, listening to sappy love songs. I’m so happy and head over heals. I feel like every choice I made was exactly what I needed to do cause it got me to this point in life. I do feel like maybe I need to move out of state or go travel and see some stuff or get a new job. That’s the only part of my life that I’m just not happy with I used to love work but so much has changed there. Blah.
Today going on a day date to downtown with hen. Gonna go on the light rail
And explore the city he’s never really spent time in! Pretty excited. I think I wanna get a new tattoo.
Week 2, new chapter
I can’t believe it’s been 2 weeks since I changed my whole life. Sunday I had a girls day with two of my great friends from work. We met up at 1 and started drinking we bar hopped and told stories, laughed, shopped. It was amazing and I’m so happy with the connections I’ve made and that I have such a good support system. Monday was a normal day. Tuesday Chelsea and I got coffee and are working on reconnecting. Wednesday I got my hair done and had my first ever actual date. So fun. It feels strange that I’m 21 and I consider this my first date. He picked me up we went to Thai food. He ordered for us we say laughed talked. I’m over the moon and I hope we have so many more dates. Thursday we had a photoshoot at work Friday was slice of hope and Saturday was long and I hit ot.
A big part of my break up was needing to find out who I am as an adult type person without anyone influencing me or my choices. So far I’ve decided I’m a pretty laid back happy person. I’m happier then I have been in such a long time. I can feel now more then ever that when I’m in a good mood sometimes it transfers to other people and that’s pretty cool. I’ve felt more love from my family and friends then I have in a long time. I’m still not sure who I am or where I’m going but so far I really love the journey of getting there.
It’s been a week since we broke up. This might sound horrible but as much as my heart misses you, I am so much happier now. I’ve been eating better, I’ve lost 6 pounds. I’m taking care of myself instead of you. I know that’s a good thing. I’ve been doing the things 21 year olds should do, going out to bars, getting drinks bought for them, kissing someone who gives you butterflies. In the last week I’ve hardly slept. It’s not because of tears or heartbreak but because I’ve been having the time of my life, and I don’t have anyone making me feel guilty about “not spending enought time together” or ” picking others over me” I’m finally making myself happy. It was one of the hardest things I’ve done in my 21 years of life but I’m happy to say its not something I regret. You’ll always have a space in my heart but I know now this is for the best not only for me but for you too. You have the chance too go find happiness and hopefully you will. You’ll be in my heart, always.
Single after 3 years..now what? New chapter time I guess.